笑林小祝

hilary

其一：<B>美国人幽默的电话留言</B>

      Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. 嗨，我可能在家里，但我不想给我讨厌的人回电话。请留言吧。如果我没有给您回电话，那么您就是我讨厌的那个人。

　　Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right, everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. 请您留言。当然，您有权保持沉默。如果您放弃这个权利，那么您说的每句话都将被记录在案，并且将被我们所利用。
　　Hello, you've reached Jim and Sara. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sara likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you. 嗨，这里是Jim和Sara的家。我们现在不能接电话，因为我们正在干一件我们非常喜欢干的事情。Sara喜欢一上一下地干，而我却喜欢一左一右地干。好吧，请留言吧，等我们刷完牙，我们将给您回电话。
       Thank you for calling us. If you wish to speak to Mike, push 1, to Cathie, push 2, to Alex, push 3, to Doggie, push 4. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it makes you feel like we have a big time phone system. 谢谢您给我们打电话。如果您想找Mike(我本人)，请按1，找Cathie(我老婆)，请按2，找Alex(我儿子)，请按3，找Doggie(我家小狗)，请按4。其实不管您按哪个钮，结果都一样(我们家只有一部电话，并没有分机)，但这会让您感觉，我们家里好象有一台很大的电话交换机。

kite

<>cool           ! </P><>i like the second   joke !  </P>

hilary

<B>Blonde in a Library</B>
A blonde walks into the library and says to the librarian, ''Can I have a burger and fries?'' <>''Sorry, this is a library.'' <>So the blonde whispers, ''Oh, may I have a burger and fries?'' </P>
[em07][em07]

hilary

<>does this joke make sense to you?</P><>(haha: according to my understanding, one must speak in a low voice in a library. and i guess that's what the blonde got to know at last. but sure she didn't get to know what the librarian really meant.[em01])</P>

hilary

<>楼下的：are you a blonde?  （金发碧眼的女人）</P>

就你弹

<>no, i am a chinese, a guy</P><>pass, the next one?</P>

死都往右走

<>a tough guy</P><>next one?</P>

hilary

why not leave some words since you pass here

银色灰尘

老公和老婆的由来  　　Why does a man want to have a WIFE?  
<>　　男人为啥要娶老婆 ? </P><>　　Because .......因为 ...... </P><>
　　W--- Washing 洗衣 </P><>　　I--- Ironing 烫衣 </P><>　　F--- Food 做饭 </P><>　　E--- Entertainment 娱乐 </P><>　　Why does a woman want to have a HUSBAND ? </P><>　　为啥女人要嫁老公? </P><>　　Because ...... 因为 ...... </P><>　　H---Housing 有房子 </P><P>　　U---Understanding 有心灵相通 </P><P>　　S---Sharing 有分享的喜悦 </P><P>　　B---Buying 有钱想要的东西 </P><P>　　A---and 还有 </P><P>　　N---Never 绝对不 </P><P>　　D---Demanding 要求太高
</P>[em01]

字典

楼上的高手啊！

死都往右走

<>嘻嘻，过奖过奖</P><>i'm flattered.</P>

银色灰尘

<>you can upload something interesting here, too</P>

hilary

Twelve shots<>A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."</P><>shot  （饮料等）一份，一客</P><>bartender   酒吧里的男招待</P><>。。。。hehe。。so much fun in the club。。。。</P>

hilary

Good First Impression   良好的第一印象 </P>   A young doctor was just setting up his first office when his secretary told him there was a man to see him. The doctor wanted to make a good first impression by having the man think he was successful and very busy. He told his secretary to show the man in.

At that moment, the doctor picked up the telephone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient. The man waited until the "conversation" was over. Then, the doctor put the telephone down and asked, "Can I help you?"

To which the man replied, "No, I'm just here to connect your telephone."</P> [em01]      [em01]</P>

jhx0926200

<>[em01][em02][em04][em08]</P><>不好啊</P>[em06][em04]

hilary

welcome to upload something interesting here

summer1

<>i want to learn English.</P>

hilary

　He is really somebody<>　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.</P><>　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?</P><>　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.</P><>　　　他真是一个大人物</P><>　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。</P><>　　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？</P><>　　-- 墓地守墓人。</P>

rinlyt

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/03/politics/campaign/03cnd-text-video-all.html

rinlyt

<>oh,i'd like to upload sth interesting,but still can't .what a pity!</P>